Tag Archives: Pintershizz

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids’ Birthday Parties

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Okay, let’s start out with a definition of terms because what better way could there possibly be to get a par-tay started!?

So . . .

When I say over-the-top, I’m not talking about about dropping $40,000 or even dollar bills remotely approaching four figures on a party. Rest assured children has never left my parties with custom birthstone rings nor have aerialists ever descended from my trees. To my knowledge.

Also, my penchant towards over-reaching crafts, cakes, and activities has NOTHING to do with Pinterest as much as I would love to foist the blame on that most fabulous website everyone loves to roast. I WAS Pinterest before it was even a gleam of HTML code in a developer’s eye since I had dial-up internet and a film camera when my first child was born. Chew on that fossilized tidbit for a moment while I adjust my hearing aid and take my calcium.

Now, I have one important qualifier. Since there was no Facebrag to post on, my creations were not perfectly staged in front of rustic wooden fences draped with the prerequisite handmade pennant banners. However, they were enough for other moms to give me the side-eye. Just don’t give my photos the side-eye now. There was no need for the perfect picture.

So that’s what my parties were not. Here’s what my parties were.

There’s the time I hand-painted a dragon on a sheet and constructed a PVC pipe frame to hang it from so the multitude of tiny revelers could joust during my daughter’s “Unicorns and Dragons” party to celebrate her 7th birthday.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Then there’s the time I had a herd of kids construct Littlest Pet Shop habitats using a bushel load of craft supplies. I must note that I never had loose glitter. Giving children access to vials of glitter could be the only criteria needed to diagnose insanity.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Oh, and by the way, my kids have always gotten their very own birthday cakes to dig into. With abandon. We’re kind of famous for it. (The guests generally get their own spit-free cupcakes.)

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Okay, one more shout-out to my cakes. Indulge me because I really am sparing you from the one million pictures I want to post from my time hop through my external hard drive, and anyway, how cute is this owl? You don’t have to answer because I already know.

Owl Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Okay, just one more because c’mon, just look at it. It’s a cake that looks like an ice cream bar on a stick!

Ice Cream Popsicle Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Seriously, this post has taken me longer to write than a doctoral thesis on fondant because I have gotten so caught up in the wonderful memories. So what could possibly be the pitfall?

Well, they might have been a tad too boisterous, a tad too three-ring-circus, just a tad too much . . . pushing the bar for what passes as a successful party a bit too high. While painting this dragon didn’t set me up for further sticky situations (unless you count being drafted to paint a backdrop for Vacation Bible School and I probably should) . . .

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


. . . inviting half the neighborhood, the entire class, church friends, and the swim team did set me up for some problems down the line.

The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties: It's all fun and games until it's not. Looking down the road into the future. |Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


See, I set the expectation that if there wasn’t a ruckus with enough guests to field two complete soccer teams and a cheer squad, then it wasn’t a party. This wasn’t really a problem in the easy-breezy early years of childhood where their friends equaled who sat at their lunch tables. However, as kids got closer to adolescence and alliances became dicier and ever-shifting, this made making the guest list more tumultuous and emotionally charged often resulting in a fairly short list of invitees. And this was completely fine . . . except for the party paradigm I had created.

While I would not have changed those early preschool parties for anything, I wish I had scaled my way back as the years progressed so that a sleepover with four buddies would seem like a perfectly acceptable party. To be honest, I’m not sure who it was a bigger problem for, me or my kids.

Luckily this was not a pitfall that trapped me forever. Time and my ever maturing kids have “cured” my over-the-top-ness. And let’s face it, there are worst things to be than a party planner extraordinaire who wants to celebrate the heck out of her kids. My one wish is that you duly note things can get a little rougher in the tween and teen years when parties are not as simple as goodie bags and pinatas. Now, out of my way! I’m going to the kitchen to get a cake under some candles to make that wish come true.

Emoji Cake: The Unexpected Pitfall of Over-The-Top Kids' Birthday Parties | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


Speaking of perfection, buy our new book, I Just Want to Be Perfect, bringing together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

I Just Want to Be Perfect

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”


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10 Valentine’s Day Cliches We Are Totally Over

Here’s the deal. Between January 31st and February 11th, both of us have birthdays, and so do our husbands. By the time Valentine’s Day rolls around we are pretty much over it. Plus, it is soooooo hard to find our guys that many gifts in a row. Sure we wrote a gift guide for guys, BUT we already have all of that stuff.

Now don’t go calling us the Grinches of Valentine’s Day. We’re just tired of spending and doing by the time the 14th rolls round. Seriously, it’s hard enough mustering enthusiasm for birthdays once you high-five forty, but birthdays lurking along less than 50 days after Christmas? Meh. And then Valentine’s Day about a week later? Put a fork in us because we are DONE.

We are so done, in fact, that the clichés of Valentine’s Day make us want to hurt cupid with his own stupid bow and arrows. What clichés are we referring to? Basically everything clogging your Pinterest feed and ours.  We like to call it Pintershizz. Here, we’ll elaborate . . .

10 Valentine’s Day Clichés That Are Pintershizz

10 Valentine's Day Cliches We Are Totally Over (But laughter is not one of them.) --Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Going out to dinner

Does this surprise you? In theory it sounds good and we do love date nights with our husbands. However, Valentine’s Day is like amateur night: the menus are often fixed, the prices are hiked, and the service is lousy because the poor wait staff is running ragged scattering those rose petals over champagne toasts. Give us a random Friday night out instead and we’ll swoon. Plus, Ellen still hasn’t gotten over the memory of the V-Day about 21 years ago when she and her husband got the worst case of food poisoning they have ever endured. The restaurant was named Il Fiore, but will forever be known as The ILL Fiore to Ellen and Frank.

Pinterest source

You might consider al fresco dining as a way to beat the crowds, but it is February, People. A table for two outside can quickly turn into gurneys for two in the Emergency Room. Because frostbite. Unless you’re in the tropics and then why are you reading this post? It’ gorgeous, get outside. Pinterest source.

2. Flowers

Okay, now maybe we ARE vying for the title of “Grinches of Valentine’s Day,” but flowers on V-day just seem so trite, and well, easy. And oh my goodness, they are expensive. Just surprise us with daisies on a sunny day in June and use the rest of the flower fund to make us some spare keys for our vans so we have a 60% chance of getting out of the house on time.

Pinterest source

Get a bonus King Kong sized box of Claritin if you order right now with promo code: thismakesmethinkyouareguiltyaboutsomething. Pinterest source.

3. Torture devices passing as sexy

Okay, we like sexy just as much as the next girl, but if it is going to cause us the discomfort of a thousand cactus needles being shoved under our fingernails while simultaneously enduring Justin Beiber piped directly into our craniums, then you can just throw that mess onto the Pintershizz pile, too.

Pinterest source

On second thought, maybe these will keep Pushy Peggy from running up on our junk in the Walmart checkout line. Pinterest source.

4. Lingerie

C’mon. Who’s the lingerie really for? Is it really a gift for us? See above if you’ve forgotten that quickly how we feel about sexy items passing for torture devices. Take Granny’s advice—nothing says sexy louder than a girl who is comfortable in her own skin panties—emphasis on the comfortable.

Bridget Jones

Is it underwear or washable birth control? Pinterest source.

5. Man Costumes

No!! Just because we said that lingerie was not exactly a gift for us, we didn’t mean our men had to dress up! This does not qualify as a gift either . . . although there is the gift of laughter to consider.

Pinterest source.

Want to see my toaster strudel? Pinterest source.

6. Geekery Fashion

We know we’ve just been yucking it up with the granny panties and with lederhosen, but Valentine’s Day really isn’t the time for gag gifts. If it makes you snicker in the store, just walk away or throw it on the Pintershizz bonfire.

Rubik's Cube Bag

It’s a puzzle, it’s a purse, no, it’s a bad idea. Pinterest source.

7. Things to Make Homemaking Easier

Get it together! No appliances are to be given on Valentine’s Day! Even a vacuum this cool can’t get you out of the doghouse . . . unless it comes with a FULL-TIME housekeeper à la The Brady Bunch. So to clarify: any appliance without an “Alice” is Pintershizz.

Pinterest source.

The only thing that will be wanted if we receive appliances for Valentine’s Day is us . . . for murder. Pinterest source.

8. Sweets

We can hear you saying, “What is wrong with you two? What is so bad about candy on Valentine’s Day?” Well, let’s just say we’ve been working really hard trying to beat the post-40 bulge and we don’t actually want to fit into those granny panties.

Pinterest source.

Nope. No jewelry in here, only diabeetus. Pinterest source.

9. The Love Toilet

Do we really have to explain why this is Pintershizz? C’mon, you’re better than that!

Pinterest source.

What better way to spend $1400 than to pave your way to divorce court? Pinterest source.

10. The Wine Purse

What did we say about tacky gag gifts . . . wait a minute. This is pure genius! Write this one down.

Pinterest source.

Making friends at PTA meetings since 2014. Pinterest source.


So what will we accept on Valentine’s Day since we have just poo-pooed a ton of the classics and then some? Well, we’d never turn away jewelry.

Pinterest source.

Earrings always fit no matter how much Halloween/Christmas/Valentine’s Day candy you indulge in. Pinterest source.

Unless it looks like this! Get your head in the game!

Pinterest source.

Their dreams of us making supplemental income as voodoo priestesses are just gonna have to die. Maybe we could sell their baseball cards instead? Pinterest source.

The direct route to the romance-filled center of our hearts? A night away—No! A weekend away!—fully planned by our hubbies INCLUDING arrangements for the kids and pets. That last piece of planning is what makes this the true gift of romance. Can we get an “Amen”? But even the gazillion points they would earn by scheduling babysitting would be cancelled out if they took us here.

Pinterest source.

Nothing is more romantic than hanky-panky in a drainpipe. Pinterest source.


Happy Valentine’s Day from the oh-so-easy-to-please Sensible Sisterhood!


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Awkward Halloween Costume Pintershizz

‘Twas the night before Halloween,

And all through Ellen’s house,

Not a costume was decided on,

And folks were starting to grouse.

On Ninja Turtles, on Minions, on Wonder Woman too.

All of these were rejected, even ghosts that go “Boo!”

So with nary a slim second to shave,

That red and white wonder,

Pinterest, was consulted for the save.

Erin: Wow. You know you could cut the angst if you all just wore the same costumes every year. Like me.

Crazy Milkmaid

Why would you mess with this crazy milkmaid success?

Ellen: Yeah. That is going to be a negatory for me. But, I have to admit Pinterest has not been my savior either. I’ve gotten sucked down the rabbit hole of weird Pintershizz–even weirder than your milkmaid. So while I’m no closer to being costumed, I AM very entertained.

Erin: Let’s share and entertain everyone. It is what we do after all.

Ten Tremendously Awkward Halloween Costumes

Awkward Halloween CostumePintershizz Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We original thought we’d list these from least awkward to most, but dang, they’re all just so awful. So we’re going to start with the innocents who could not say no and who had no one of any sense to stand up for them.

1. You Can Dress a Pig Up

If a 9 year old girl did not stage this photo, then the awkward sadness oozing from it can’t even be sopped up with a 5 pound bowl of cookie dough.

pig costume

2. Doubt His Farts Smell Like Rainbows

We find it a little sad to see animals dressed up, but the humiliation in this pooch’s eyes haunts us. But maybe this pug had it coming. That’ll teach him to pee on Aunt Gertrude’s heirloom Persian rug. And really, he could have run away; not to mention he has a little thing called fangs.


3. Little Giblets

Now this poor baby had no defenses. What new mom or dad has enough sleep or fortitude to construct anything like this? And this definitely screams custom-made. Not a big market for transforming your offspring into entrees. Are you feeling the fear in his eyes?


4. Emu Contortionist

The little Butterball above didn’t have a chance, but this capon chose this ridiculousness. Are you grasping that the person’s head is at the base of the fowl’s neck? And, oh yeah, the head is a shoe. But the kicker (pun intended)? This was found on Sexy Costume Club. We need to go hit up the dictionary because we didn’t know that sexy was a synonym for awkward. What we do know is this is the worst manifestation of party animal ever.


5. Couple of Boobs

This costume requires more commitment than a diamond ring and a mortgage. For it to make any sense, you are walking with your arms around each other. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And you’re getting groped.


6. Creepier Than Chuckie

We cannot even imagine what went into the decision making process for this get-up. We do know what was NOT involved in the planning: Testosterone.

raggedy ann

7. Chainmail Can’t Protect You From Awkward

The one problem with this? Lack of commitment. Where is the chainmail diaper? But we’re just pulling your leg, there’s a moat-load of wrong going on here.


We know we said it was impossible to rate these from least awkward to most, but really, these last three are the grand finale . . .

8. Precocious Prophylactic

So much wrong in such a skinny wrapper. Can you feel the awkwardness of the neighbors having to pass candy out to this? Bright side? He’s been offered an after-school job at the local health center.


9. Bakery Fail

If the previous costume was screaming for a call to Child Protective Services, this one begs for a Health Department write-up. Why exactly does her belly have to be naked?

bun in the oven

10.Words Fail Us



Erin: On that note, I declare ENOUGH! I do NOT want to see your husband’s head, um, there.

Ellen:  Seriously. Don’t you worry your lactose tolerant kerchief because I don’t have time to find a gurney. In fact, I have completely run out of time to look. Since I haven’t found a costume ON Pinterest, my costume is going to BE Pinterest.

Halloween Costume Pintershizz

Need some more “acceptable” DIY costume suggestions? Check out our round-up.

Erin: And this is why we love you.

Ellen: Happy Halloween everybody! Put down that Mason jar for a second and follow us on Pinterest!

-Ellen and Erin


You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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Catcrap Crazy Pintershizz on Pinterest

What is it about cats that makes them synonymous with crazy? Is it their aloofness or their murderous tendencies? Is it merely because of the alliteration? The term “Crazy Cat Lady” rolls off the tongue while “Crazy Dog Woman” or “Crazy Gerbil Guy” aren’t even things. Well, the gerbil guy may be a thing, but we’re too afraid to Google it.

We’ve had our own run-ins with cat craziness. Heck, Erin can’t even keep the cats in her house straight. She had an imposter living with her for a while. Wait, does that qualify her as a Crazy Cat Lady or just crazy?

Either way, that story is not as crazy as some of the cat inspired items you can find on our pal Pinterest. That mess is just catcrap crazy pintershizz.

Catcrap Crazy Pintershizz on Pinterest

1. Let’s start with the cat crap.

We know people live in small spaces and want to hide the litter box, but this is how we see this one playing out . . .

Imagine a Norman Rockwell perfect holiday. Everyone has feasted and now the family has settled down to play Scrabble, but wait, there is a dispute over the word “scurrilities.” You, the host, jauntily proclaim, ” I cry foul! Spellcheck doesn’t even recognize it . . . FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, AUNT LINDA, THERE IS NO DICTIONARY IN THAT CABINET! PUT ON YOUR GLASSES!”



2. You need a sharp pencil to keep score.

After almost grabbing a handful of litter box party favors, imagine the hoot Aunt Linda will get when you send her to sharpen her pencil in this gem.

Source: fab.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest



3. Tastefulness is key when decorating.

No one likes potty humor? Tell that to the whoopie cushion industry, but we can’t guarantee Aunt Linda will understand.



4. Continuing with the “Steal Your Soul” sub-theme.

Any ol’ (crazy) person can decorate in a cat theme, but it is the true genius who weaves a subtle sub-theme, drawing you in with its complexity. What would go better with the above demonic cat toilet seat than a Stepford Cat toilet brush holder? Buy a spare for Aunt Linda. She’ll enjoy the company when she visits the loo in the dark hours of the night.


5. Taking it to the next level.

Anybody with money to burn can buy cat themed items, but those dedicated to their decorating make their own accessories. USING CAT HAIR. Imagine the chuckles “Allergic to Cats Aunt Linda” will enjoy when you tell her, “Sure I have Benadryl. It must be hard to see with your eyes swelling up like that, but it’s in the little box on the back of the toilet.” Wink, wink.

Source: etsy.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest


(If you need more laughs today, please click on this pin to see the Etsy store for this!)


6. Maybe you should issue a warning.

If you had this doormat, maybe everyone wouldn’t be buggin’ and saying Aunt Linda’s trip to the ER was all your fault. Were you really to blame that she forgot her EpiPen?

we decorate with cats


7. Take your show on the road.

Maybe the problem is you’ve been hiding your light under a bushel basket. Let the world know you love cats and tell the haters to stop their wheezin’. (We are talking to you Aunt Linda.) Regardless, this accessory pumps up the “Meow Factor” of any outfit.


Source: pbase.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest


8. Hold the phone!

Why carry around a facsimile when you can have a purse that is (almost) the real thing! Relax, it’s fake. Stop Googling Sarah McLAughlin phone number! Bonus: it won’t contribute to Aunt Linda’s anaphylaxis at all and she can stop muttering she’s writing you out of the will.


9. When subtle isn’t enough.

May we suggest the Crazy Cat Lady uniform? Wouldn’t this be a great gift to cheer Aunt Linda up in the hospital? It’s better than flowers because you really have to be careful about people’s allergies. Apparently.


10. We feel like that outfit is missing something.

Fill in your own jokes, but don’t write them in the comments. Our kids read this blog. And Aunt Linda’s sense of humor seems to be on the fritz.


Finally, Aunt Linda’s Revenge . . .

This is the only gift she’ll be giving you next year.

Dead cat


-Ellen and Erin

*No Aunt Lindas were actually harmed in the facetiousness of this post.


Laugh at the whole Pintershizz series here.

Laugh at the whole Pintershizz series here.


Follow us on Pinterest! We really do adore it. We just kid because we love.


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Christmas Pintershizz: The Final Countdown

Sing it with us! “It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . .”  Hmmm, let’s not. How about we up the reality on this bad boy season and all download The Final Countdown?

Pintershizz Christmas Edition

Ellen: Is it crazy that I’m stewing in jealousy because my Jewish friends checked off their holidays in one epic swoop this year: Thanksgivukah? Sure it was a swirling dervish of exhausting festiveness at the time, but now they are done: D-O-N-E done.

Erin: Your spirit must be crushed to be envious of two holidays smashed together. Pushed up against the Shutterfly deadline again?

Ellen: Is it that obvious? I thought squeaking in under their free shipping cutoff was going to be the end of me . . . AGAIN.

Erin: We always poo poo pissin’ contests, BUT I have you beat. I am fighting the machine of the ACTUAL Shutterfly deadline. Like no-money-in-the-world-can-get-you-your-book if you miss this deadline.

Ellen: And the last day to order on most other sites is drawing near.  I always feel carefree about shopping when the internet is my safety net . . .

Erin: Until BAM! That safety net is ripped away like Santa scratching your name off of the Nice List.

Ellen: Amazon Prime  has lessened my stress considerably, but really, I think it may have exacerbated my procrastinating tendencies. You can’t wrap what you don’t have. I’m predicting my traditional Christmas Eve date with Scotch Tape and Pinot Noir in the unfinished side of my basement will be a “go” again this year.

Erin: I hate to burst your miniscule bubble of holiday cheer, but in a couple of days even Amazon Prime won’t be able to save you because there is no “Bend the Time Space Continuum” shipping option. You’ll have to resort to going into actual stores if you don’t pull yourself together.

Ellen: I feel myself shutting down. So what better way to cope than to avoid my Christmas list altogether and just make fun of stuff on Pinterest?

Erin: I’ll jump on your Procrastination Train! Its Caboose of Denial looks comfy. The stewards to stroke my hair and make shushing noises is a nice touch. Besides, I’m counting on elves this year to save me.


Ten Things Pintershit That Better Not Be Under Our Trees

Erin’s List

1. Godfather Gone Wrong

I love the classic movie “The Godfather”, but this pillowcase is taking fandom a bit too far and a little over the top. Fake gore on your pillow just seems so wrong. Plus it would be hard to explain to the six year old.

Horse head

2. Handbag From Hades

I like a great bag as much as the next girl, but this one is only appropriate for your next party down by the River Styx. I feel like I would need to pack some extra biscuits in it for Cerberus, but it hardly seems big enough for the reed pipe I’d need to lull him to sleep. Save this little beauty for another day or another girl who doesn’t know her mythology like I do. Or for someone you don’t like.

hades handbag

3. Sucker!

My 13 year old’s classmate brought these to school for a birthday treat. Look closely. That’s right—there are scorpions, real scorpions– imbedded in these bad boys. Supposedly, some of the kids LOVED them. I don’t care if they are prepackaged and gluten-free, I can’t get over that scorpions are venomous creatures. I just shuddered. I repeat, “DO NOT buy this for me.” Unless you want an Erin-sized hole in your front door as I run screaming for my life.


4. Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

This gives new meaning to the phrase “My dogs are tired.” Why would you make shoes like this?

dog shoe

Ellen: I don’t know, but your octogenarian catchphrases delight me every. single. time. They’re the bee’s knees.

Erin: There is no shame in being well read . . . and I can crash a bridge game like a boss.

Ellen: I have to agree, that is a skill that could come in mighty handy, as handy as hip pockets on a hog.

Erin: Now you’re just mocking me.

5. Sweater With a Side of Surgical Mask

There’s almost nothing I love more than turtlenecks and sweaters during the cold winter months; so I would normally welcome a gift like this. There is just something clinical about the weird way you’re supposed to wear it over your face. It says, “I take my fashion with a side of Ebola virus.” This would make Christmas dinner at the family homestead awkward, especially since I would have to consume my entire meal through a straw. Ham and potato smoothie, yuuummmmm.


Ellen’s List

6. Wonky Wookie

I like Stars Wars as much as the next person, but this is a little much. Dressing like Chewbacca would just make me feel like I forgot to wax.  Don’t tell me it’s for Halloween because I already have a bevy of Hallo-Awkward-Ween choices lined up for next year.

But on second thought, if I wore this, could I get away with just wookie roaring at everyone? Hmmmm . . . or rather Arrrarroowwrrerr.


By the way, special thanks to infolinks for taking my query — “How to write Chewbacca sounds?” — as seriously as I take my writing. I got THE right information for THE right decision, yo. Integrity.

7. Christmas No

Don’t think that just because this sweater embraces more of a yuletide theme that it is appropriate. Just to be clear, this does not give me the warm and fuzzies. It gives me visions of Labradors peeing on my feet. You, know, because  I would be a tree.

christmas sweater

8. Heck No

Wellllllllllll, I think there is something obviously and freudian-ly amiss with a monstrous shark emerging from a crotch. But really, I don’t care to hate on Ariel or cause little wanna-be princesses angst; let alone inflict my daughters with that much mortification. Who, aside from a Victoria Secret model, can stand that much groin gawking during a simple day at the beach? Although . . . this would be hilarious on a Disney cruise, right? Mwahahahaha.

shark vs mermaid

9. The Gift That Keeps On Drowning

Now that I have a complex about sharks eating mermaids, I would just consider this gift a blatant and aggressive threat on my well-being. Can you actually imagine swimming, I mean, not drowning in this??

But it does provide a nice set-up for the gift of laughter. What do you call a muffin top squeezed up by a mermaid tail? A tuna roll! I’m here all week, folks.


10. Just Take A Baseball Bat To My Knee

My knee is always just one twitch away from needing an MRI. Disability can even stalk me while walking in a straight line on level ground. These shoes would just seal the deal in a slow and tortuous way. Who am I kidding? It would be fast and epic. Regardless, the spikes would make it hard for you to remove my shoe from your arse when I shoved it there for giving me such an awful gift.



However if you insist on giving me that shoe, you know, for my own fashion good, then you’d better gift it with this AT-AT Walker walker. This is a Star Wars gift I can get behind. But now you’re confused, you say? I just dissed Chewbacca and now I’m embracing this? It’s really very simple. You just have to be discerning . . .  and read my mind.

AT-AT Walker

Here’s wishing that all your shipping deadlines are soft, your cards get sent out before President’s Day, and no one dumps Pintershizz under your tree!


Ellen and Erin


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Yarn Pintershizz is the Bomb

You know what’s popular now? Knitting and crocheting. Know how we know? Well, the internet. Duh. When memes like this start popping up in your feed, it’s time to take notice or at least write another installment of Pintershizz.

Proper grammar is also sexy. "IT'S," Ryan, "IT'S."

Proper grammar is also sexy. “IT’S,” Ryan, “IT’S.”

Ellen: I fully acknowledge we could have gone in and made our own meme to correct the grammar, but “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.” See what I did there?

Erin: Funny. But the “its” is still making me twitchy.

Ellen: Well, move on, because this is more about making you itchy from bad knitting projects.

Erin: Please tell me this has nothing to do with the performance art lady knitting out of her vagina?

Ellen: Noooooooo! I am taking a MUCH higher road than that. This is just the fun wooly stuff that started popping up in our Pinterest feed. Like yarn bombing. Did you know that was a thing?

Yarn Bombing: Making Vandalism Cozy and Adorable.

Yarn Bombing: Making Vandalism Cozy and Adorable.

Erin: I do now, but that is pretty charming. Not really Pintershizz.

Ellen: THAT is technically a form of graffiti and vandalism and it’s illegal. It’s also very badass — one of the more prominent artists went under the “graffiti knitting name”, Deadly Knitshade.

Erin: That. is. awesome. Are people really getting arrested for this?

Ellen: I don’t think so. Can you imagine the court scene?

Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present this rapscallion who had the audacity to put this hat on this bus stop and thus bring a smile to every person’s face who happened to pass its way . . .

Judge: I hate to interrupt, but what idiot called the police instead of just picking up some hedge clippers?

Prosecutor: Good point.

Judge: Case dismissed.

Erin: By the way, how do you know all of this?

Ellen: Shut up, but Wikipedia. I know I’m a Wikipedia snob, but I thought it was probably okay for graffiti knitting.

Erin: Probably. We won’t make you turn in your library card, but you seem to be dropping some stitches, where is the Pintershizz?

Ellen: Did you just try to use a knitting term to illustrate that I’m getting off track??

Erin: Sweet kittens with mittens, I’m damned if I get on board with you and damned if I don’t. Just show us what you found on Pinterest.

Yarn Pintershizz Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms


1. Throne Cozy

The Ultimate Cozy

Ellen: What better way to kick off Pintershizz than with a crocheted toilet?

Erin: I did just finish two bathroom remodels in my house . . . but no. There are waaaaaaaay too many people who stand up to pee–with questionable aim, I might add–in my household.

Ellen: Stop right there! I can feel the bacteria crawling through the computer screen. But speaking of science experiments, what about this gem?


2. Trapped Like a Rat

Yarn Rat Dissection

Bonus genuine dissection tray. Only mildly used.

Erin: Now isn’t this something you would like? Seems like the perfect gift for that med student in your life.

Ellen: No! It’s not even anatomically correct! Where are the lungs? WHAT is that brown blob on the left? Is that green thing the heart? Everyone knows the gallbladder is green, but it most definitely is NOT in the center of the chest.

Erin: Wow. I think we just found your OCD trigger. At least the tray is authentic.

Ellen: I’ll be impressed only if it smells like formaldehyde and desperation. Moving on to less evil-scientist-type items . . .


3. Bad Yarn Decision Dude

Bad Yarn Decision Dude

Ellen: Now this one is just funny. Pretty sure it is from the 70s.

Erin: What a lovely decade that was: avocado green and harvest gold EVERYTHING, Vienna sausages on toothpicks as appetizers, and clothing like THIS.

Ellen: I can’t remember what that hat is called and it’s driving me nuts.

Erin: That’s a tam o’ shanter.

Ellen: HOW did you know that?

Erin: I have my niche. You’re full of knowledge everyone needs to know, but I know things no one ever wants to know . . .

Ellen: Don’t sell yourself short. You’re just like Google, except less profitable and user friendly.


4. Keeping Those Buns Warm

One French Fry Short of a Happy Meal

Ellen: I do NOT want to know what her secret sauce is.

Erin: If you ask me, she looks like she’s one french fry short of a Happy Meal. See? I’m hilarious.

Ellen: You have your moments. Keep the faith.


5. More Fashion WTH?

WTH SweaterEllen: What would this be for? Is it for those times you only want 50% of your limbs to be sexy and frostbitten??

Erin: Oooo. It’s like the woman who’s famous who had the leg sticking out of the dress.

Ellen: You mean Angelina Jolie? You came up with tam o’ shanter, but can’t remember Jolie? I’m getting you a People Magazine subscription for Christmas. You need to up your Google game.

Erin: I told you, I’m a niche.


6. Two Woolens Arses are Better Than One

Two Woolen ArsesEllen: This is for those people who think Snuggies aren’t ugly enough.

Erin: Yes, because what would make you feel better about being hideous than knowing you spent eleventy gazillion hours creating that ugliness?


 7. Earbud Time Suck

Earbud Time Suck

Erin: What’s so bad about these? They would actually be pretty useful in my family of seven. Someone is ALWAYS complaining that someone else is using their earbuds. Blah, blah, blah.

Ellen: It’s the TIME SUCK factor. In my family, someone is always losing their earbuds. I can’t imagine spending this much time on something that has such a short life span. By the way, you know you could just color the connectors with different colored Sharpies?

Erin: YOU know that would require a master chart that we would promptly lose, right? Ain’t nobody got time for that.


8. Here We Go A-Flaying

Here We Go a Flaying
Ellen: I feel like I disappointed you with the last one, so back to the weird. Doesn’t this look like someone has been skinned? Wasn’t it St. Bartholomew who was flayed?

Erin: I don’t know. It seems like there were a bunch of them.

Ellen: Okay, not to keep spinning the same wheel (yeah, I did it), but how do you know something like tam o’ shanter, but you’re not sure which saint lost his hide?  You’re a religion teacher.

Erin: Told you, I’m niche-y.


9. Because We Love Llamas

Llama With a Scarf
Ellen: I didn’t want to end being a complete knitting hater. If I had a llama, I would totally knit it a scarf. I don’t know why I love llamas so much–maybe it’s their long, sweeping eyelashes, their goofy expressions, or the way they spit like they just don’t care. There is nothing wrong with the textile arts, it’s just, I don’t have the time.

Erin: I wouldn’t mind learning to knit either. People have told me it’s great to do while sitting in car line or sitting on the sidelines . . . the only problem is, I already have things I’m catching up on during that “down-time.” My “down-time” is double-booked until three months past 2020.

And Sweetie, you can just buy a scarf at Target for nine bucks. The llama will never know.


-Ellen and Erin



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Oops, Ellen Pintershizzed Again: Beverage Edition 2.0

Pinterest, how we really do love thee! You make us laugh with funny little ecards like this:

Check out our board of funny "Snorts"

Check out our board of funny “Snorts

You send traffic to our blog from our pins like this:

And you inspire Ellen to complete projects like this:

Unfortunately, you also dupe Ellen into abusing her friends on New Year’s Eve with swill like this:

Erin: Oh sweet sprinkles, I had hoped I would never see the Kahlua Float Fail again. Champagne and ice cream?! Gack.

Ellen: All I can say is I was wooed by this lovely picture. And it would have at least presented better if you had some darn flutes instead of those tacky plastic cups.

champagne and ice cream

Erin: But I had nothing to do with you using caramel jimmies instead of chocolate. To be fair, that picture looks tempting and you usually are pretty good at picking out recipes.

Ellen: It ‘s kind of a super power of mine . . .

Erin: That, and modesty.

Ellen: ANYWAY, the root beer floats I made for the kids were yummy.

Erin: It’s hard to mess up a root beer float, although I guess you could have used mint ice cream or something . . . you know, if Pinterest told you to.

Ellen: Funny. I do have to admit, I was Pintershizzed. Lucky for you, I wasn’t afraid to splash it all over my friends.

Read the whole Pintershizz series here.

Read the whole Pintershizz series here.

Erin: But you did have a recent tirumph. Those Crockpot Pumpkin Spice Lattes you brought to my Halloween bash were great.

Ellen: They WERE good and doesn’t Mary look adorable serving them up?

Check out the recipe.

Check out the recipe.

Ellen: But didn’t you hear the complaints that I used, gasp, caffeinated coffee? Apparently most of us are so old that we can’t consume caffeine after 2 pm. I have no such problem, but maybe I just cultivate a superior level of exhaustion.

Erin: I’m not sure that is brag-worthy.

Ellen: Well, that is not the Pintershizz anyway. THIS is where I, and I alone, got Pintershizzed.


Gack. Bakind soda and vingar came to the rescue.

Erin: What is THAT?

Ellen: That is the bottom of my crockpot AFTER I had already scrubbed it out twice. And I’m talking the bottom of the cooking unit.   The warm and toasty latte that sloshed between the pottery crock and the metal heating part baked to a lacquer-like finish worthy of Chinese cabinetry. Apparently liquid doesn’t transport well in a crockpot.

Erin: That is an understatement.

Ellen: It took multiple cycles of baking soda and vinegar to get that nastiness clean. Hey, maybe I’ll get my revenge on Pinterest by pinning that disgusting picture.

Erin: I think you need to work on your revenge plots. How about we just tell people to follow us on Pinterest because we have a whole board of great libations?

Ellen: Fine. But I’m still pinning it.



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Pintershizz Mother’s Day Anti Gift Guide

We have a love hate relationship with Mother’s Day. We are both blessed to have our mothers and we adore our kids, but May is just so overwhelming. With the dances and the plays and the banquets and the tournaments and the weddings and the graduations, we feel like we could meet ourselves coming and going.

This May is so hectic, we’re really too tired to even get on a good rant about it. Eh, we did it last year and it still applies. Our favorite part is that the creator of Mother’s Day was driven crazy by Mother’s Day. She died blind, poor, and childless. Go read all about it.

We were going to be more positive this year and write a list of fabulous Mother’s Day gifts, but the brilliant Karen Alpert of Baby Sideburns beat us to it with her hilarious post, Ten Things I Really Want for Mother’s Day. Just to seal the deal that you click on over to read it, here is number seven on her list. But you need to pinkie swear promise that you will come back because we plan on hitching this post to the hilarious train. We swear.

7. I want to pee and poop alone. I will prepare for the day by downing a tanker truck full of liquid and eating ridiculous amounts of fiber.

Thanks for coming back. We knew you loved us. And we won’t disappoint you because we decided to go the way of Pintershit for this one.

Pintershit Mother's Day Anti Gift Guide


1. Nothing “As Seen on TV”

Ellen: Whoa wait! Why is this first on the list? I got one of those Perfect Brownie Pans one year and I love it! I can make 18 perfectly sized, moist and chewy brownies, each with perfect edges  every single time!

Erin: Do you have a side job as a spokesmodel? I was thinking more along the lines of this beauty.  I picture myself with a dandelion puff of a rat’s nest after using this. Your head of matted hair would be spectacular. It would give new meaning to the saying, “My hair looks like a cyclone hit it.”



Ellen: Okay so this is kind of bad, but on the other hand they are kind of winning me over with the word “luscious.” But on the other other hand, it kind of looks like some deranged Barbie themed breastmilking device. But just for the record, “As Seen on TV” doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad. I’m also the proud owner of a Snuggie and Footie Pajamas – complete with a trap door. See?

Me and Macklemore are gonna pop some tags.

Me and Macklemore are gonna pop some tags.

Erin: This picture right here might be all the Mother’s Day gift I need.

Ellen:  You’re welcome. By the way, Kids, don’t listen to Miss Erin. I’d totally be into the Air Curler.


2. A No For Everyone but Ellen

Erin: Based on the footie pajamas, I’m assuming this would be a hit with you.

Ellen: Hellz yes. I pray I get this to scare the bejeezus out of you when we go camping together. THAT would be the best Mother’s Day gift ever for me.


3. Nothing Creepy

Ellen: Dude? What’s wrong with skeletons?

Erin: Damn, you must be easy to shop for. But c’mon, these chairs say, “Start digging in the back yard for bodies.”

Ellen: Maybe, but I wouldn’t want them because the vertebrae are all wrong.

Erin: Yeah. That’s the problem.



4. Nothing that is Really About Our Kids’ Interests

Erin: We support our kids, but we do have our own interests. Mother’s Day should be about us, not about us ONLY having identities through our children. For example, we try not to take the “sports mom” thing too far.

Ellen: These shoes are the definition of too far.



5. Nothing Alive

Erin: I would find the pressure to keep this gift alive soul crushing.

Ellen: Agreed. But it looks so comfortable and stylish. What could be bad about having a pot of dirt around your neck?

Source: fab.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest



6. Nothing Using Our Kitchens

Ellen: While the thought of breakfast in bed seems appealing, things would not turn out like this.


Erin: We’ve been at this mothering gig for quite a while, you can’t fool us.

Ellen: Our kitchens would so look like a typhoon hit a garbage dump.

Erin: And we would so have to clean it up. I can’t even think about the puddles of syrup. No freakin’ pancakes are worth this. Just let us get our own cereal. We’re good.



7. Nothing Creepy!

Erin: No words.

Ellen: Is it weird I’m almost as disturbed by her nappy hair as that hideous earring?

Erin: Maybe she got the Air Curler for Mother’s Day.

Source: imgur.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest




Ellen: For the love of God, burn it!

Erin: Bury it in the back yard!

Source: etsy.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest



Okay, on that note we’re done with the anti gift guide. So what do we want?

Ellen: I like my Mother’s Day simple and my gifts sweet. One of my favorites were these “Sweet Hearts” that my youngest made them for me.


Erin: They are adorable. I like my gifts simple and sweet too. Here’s my list: Kelly Moore camera bag, sports lens for my Nikon, and a remodeled bathroom.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Ellen and Erin


Pintershizz Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Read the whole Pintershizz series here.


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Check out our books, please, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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Facebook Follow-Up Friday #12

Because Facebook doesn’t show all of our followers all of the awesomeness all of the time we have . . .

The eclectic Edition

 The Eclectic Edition

This is our Pollyanna way of saying that this week we were all over the place. While it may be tempting to judge us as we sprinted from here to there and everywhere, just remember that we were always here for you . . .

With Great Ideas

Procrastinators, slackers, and uber-busy moms were loving on us as we shared some last minute Teacher Appreciation gift ideas!  If you missed the memo that National Teacher Appreciation Day is May 7th,  click over to our post at Home Made Simple. We’ve got your back AND some great ideas to make your life easier.

Terrific Teacher Appreciation Gift Ideas

And . . .

Cool Places to Hang Out and Link Up

We love being one of the hosts of Finding the Funny—one of the best places to connect with other writers and reconnect with your funny bone. We even threw in a bonus graphic about our Mom Taxis this time in the spirit of fun and funny.

This pretty much captures it. Good ahead, click on it to really appreciate the accuracy.

Click on it to really appreciate the accuracy.

And . . .

New Pintershit!

Everybody LOVES our Pintershit series! This post put the ow in ME-OW! We took down some of the creepiest cat crap on the webz. You can’t un-see this, but you can’t not look. After reading this post, you will understand just how catcrap crazy people can be.

Catcrap Crazy Pintershit - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And . . .

Our Love of Keens

Months ago, we wrote a post about our KEENs complete with hilarious video meltdown. The KEEN company found that post and put us and our picture on their blog. We couldn’t be happier!

A photo like this just doesn't happen.

A photo like this just doesn’t happen.

And . . .

Memes You All Loved

Who doesn’t love a little Mad Hatter? Apparently, you ALL do! This one was on fire.



Everyone loved this one poking fun at a pitfall of being short.



But the hands down favorite was this musing about mothers and daughters. Just in time for Mother’s Day.


And because we were here for you with the funny and the sweet, there were more of you to love!

We ended this week with over 3900 fans!

Thank you, welcome, and go catch up on anything you may have missed!

Not yet a fan? No worries. We always have room for one more. Just one click of the badge and you’ll be hanging with The Sisterhood.


In fact, you can follow us in all of these places.

Our Pinterest Boards are fun! Spend a couple hours checking them out.

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Want our blog posts delivered directly to your inbox? Follow us on Bloglovin. It is SUPER easy!

Follow on Bloglovin

-Ellen and Erin



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